Endurance + Patience = Peace

            

            I'm in the process of writing a memoir and my office is filled with journals, scrapbooks and memories of the past forty-six years.  In sifting through the shadow and light of my history, it seems that the one common thread is my tenacity to start over again.  I did it at age twenty-two, thirty-two and forty-two, each decade a labyrinth of false starts, cliff-hanging and risk taking; but in the end, grace won out and my ability to get up once more than I fall has paved a way for brighter days.

            Throughout my life, knitting has always been a part of the journey.  I learned the basics in second grade when my mother taught me how to cast on, knit and purl.  More often than not, if I made a mistake, I'd take it to her and ask, "Mom...can you fix this?"  And more often than not, she could.  It was the rare occasion when I'd have to begin again.  I'd grumble and rip out my work, wind the yarn and cast on once more.  When I was young, my desire to see the finished project trumped my irritation, and yet over time, I learned that I truly am a process knitter, enjoying the rhythm of what my hands can do even more than wearing the sweater or a pair of socks that took dozens of hours to make.

            Starting over, in life or in knitting, is a harbinger for me to recognize that I'm not done learning...not by any means.  I've discovered how to live in the mystery, to allow things to unfold over time, to not know how to take that next step or create that fancy stitch, but to trust that when I need it, the ability will be there.  Each new experience gives me the confidence to move forward, wherever that may be.    

            My little friend, Harshil, has been working on several knitting projects this year, and with each one, some backtracking has been involved.  At first he thought he could complete a project in one sitting, but he's since learned that knitting often involves unexpected mistakes, slipped stitches and other anomalies.  I explained to him, "I wasn't born with patience, so I'm glad God made enjoy knitting so I could learn some."   Now he's asking for more difficult projects and recently said, "I want something that's not too easy and not too hard...I want to have to work on it for awhile."  

           I know what he means, for I am now ready for new life experiences that will challenge me to go to my edge, peer over and see if I'm ready to stretch my wings and fly.  I'm so thankful to be at peace with however my journey unfolds.